A Ray of Light
A ray of light has shown through the darkness of the hell I’ve been in the past 10 years. That ray of light being the willingness of several people close to me in positions of power to attempt to free me from this corporate prison I have brought upon myself. If all goes the way I hope and pray I will only be in this prison for several more months at the most. Granted I will be substituting one job for another, however the difference should be enormous. I will be leaving a private corporation for the public sector. I will be leaving a department and company that values and rewards unethical and immoral behavior. I will be leaving a company that discriminates against women and other minorities and that values white men over all others. I will be joining the public sector which although far from perfect is light years superior to the lack of power and recourse one has in the private sector, which I not only find morally repugnant but unbearable on so many levels.
There are many desirable departments in my county that I feel I could make a difference. Take the Office of Women’s Services for example. I would feel honored to work for the benefit of the women in my community, which includes not only me but my mother, my sister, my niece, other family members, countless friends and acquaintances and all other women. What could be more rewarding? Also there is the office for the Aging, the office for Handicapped Services, Minority Affairs, Stop-DWI, Veterans Services, Youth Bureau, Division of Cancer Awareness, etc. etc.
I must admit reviewing the list of services that my local government provides to my community makes me feel proud and fortunate. I didn’t realize how many wonderful services were available. What a difference it will be to be working for the greater good of my community as opposed to the bottom line wealth of one overly rich family who doesn’t even live in my community. It will be such a relief and joy.
Of course I haven’t been offered a position yet so nothing is definite but I have high hopes. I feel that I am more than qualified and completely ready at this juncture of my life for a position in which I can finally make a difference. Not to mention leaving behind the immature, unethical, immoral actions of the people that I am subjected to at this Godforsaken company.
I will admit that I have learned a great deal at this hell hole. Unfortunately this knowledge has come at quite a great price, the price of my happiness for over a decade now. I have been subjected to discrimination, hostility and blatant degradation. Because I believe that everything happens for a reason I must also believe that I have been subjected to this abuse for a reason and I believe that reason was awareness. I had no idea what was taking place in private corporations. I was extremely naïve. Now that I not only am aware but have experienced these injustices myself I am hopeful that at some point I will be in a position to not only shed light but to hopefully put an end to this exploitative, illegal policies.
My goal is to make a positive difference wherever I go. I would love to go into my new government job and institute new 21st century, innovative policies in order to improve the lives not only of me and my coworkers, but society at large.
I realize these are lofty goals but I am dead serious about them and feel that I am ready for the job.
Showing posts with label modern day slavery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label modern day slavery. Show all posts
Denial of Own Integrity
Denial of Own Integrity
With each passing day it gets more and more difficult to deny my own integrity by forcing myself to show up and do work for a company I morally and ethically oppose, a company that is immoral, unjust, unethical and discriminatory and which I find both physically and emotionally repugnant. Of course I am extremely angry with myself for getting into and staying in this situation for as long as I have, JUST for a paycheck and although I have been taking steps the last several years to free myself of this hell and am confident that I will be free of it eventually each and every day stuck here is excruciatingly painful.
This company and my position within it are demoralizing and demeaning. Of course I rail against both constantly which all the employees at my level face but it is not easy. It is exhausting and most days by the time I leave here I am so spent from the combination of resisting the demoralization and degradation that I confront day after day, week after week, month after month, etc. that I don't have energy for the few hours of freedom that I do have in the evenings. It's heartbreaking and makes me feel sad and depressed confronting those harsh facts, especially when I consider how many human beings in this country and in the world are forced to confront similar and in many cases much worse conditions. I feel physically ill when I think about it which is on a daily basis.
I am gradually building my business, but it is going quite slow. I opened it almost 8 months ago and at the end of next month will only have 5 daily clients. I will have a total of approximately 30 clients that use our service intermittently, which is quite promising but it looks like it will be several more years before I will be able to leave this prison.
I do feel grateful that I am creating an out, but in the interim my spirit is being crushed on a daily basis. It's very painful and all encompassing. I've been contemplating writing a book for almost 15 years now and have started writing many times but it never goes anywhere. Once again I plan on carving out some time each day, preferably in the morning where I can spend several hours writing from my prison cell. The problem seems to be that this environment is not conducive to inspiration, at least not in the positive sense. I feel inspired constantly to GET OUT OF HERE and to RAIL AGAINST THE unethical, immoral, backwards policies that are continuously being implemented, policies that are against us and our rights.
My hope is that if I can be successful at escaping this hell on earth that I will be able to assist others in escaping their respective hells, or at the very least changing the conditions to make them more fair and kind to the people stuck there. It is not right for so many to be forced to suffer their lives away in order to be able to feed and house themselves and their families.
Something must be done.
With each passing day it gets more and more difficult to deny my own integrity by forcing myself to show up and do work for a company I morally and ethically oppose, a company that is immoral, unjust, unethical and discriminatory and which I find both physically and emotionally repugnant. Of course I am extremely angry with myself for getting into and staying in this situation for as long as I have, JUST for a paycheck and although I have been taking steps the last several years to free myself of this hell and am confident that I will be free of it eventually each and every day stuck here is excruciatingly painful.
This company and my position within it are demoralizing and demeaning. Of course I rail against both constantly which all the employees at my level face but it is not easy. It is exhausting and most days by the time I leave here I am so spent from the combination of resisting the demoralization and degradation that I confront day after day, week after week, month after month, etc. that I don't have energy for the few hours of freedom that I do have in the evenings. It's heartbreaking and makes me feel sad and depressed confronting those harsh facts, especially when I consider how many human beings in this country and in the world are forced to confront similar and in many cases much worse conditions. I feel physically ill when I think about it which is on a daily basis.
I am gradually building my business, but it is going quite slow. I opened it almost 8 months ago and at the end of next month will only have 5 daily clients. I will have a total of approximately 30 clients that use our service intermittently, which is quite promising but it looks like it will be several more years before I will be able to leave this prison.
I do feel grateful that I am creating an out, but in the interim my spirit is being crushed on a daily basis. It's very painful and all encompassing. I've been contemplating writing a book for almost 15 years now and have started writing many times but it never goes anywhere. Once again I plan on carving out some time each day, preferably in the morning where I can spend several hours writing from my prison cell. The problem seems to be that this environment is not conducive to inspiration, at least not in the positive sense. I feel inspired constantly to GET OUT OF HERE and to RAIL AGAINST THE unethical, immoral, backwards policies that are continuously being implemented, policies that are against us and our rights.
My hope is that if I can be successful at escaping this hell on earth that I will be able to assist others in escaping their respective hells, or at the very least changing the conditions to make them more fair and kind to the people stuck there. It is not right for so many to be forced to suffer their lives away in order to be able to feed and house themselves and their families.
Something must be done.
The Corporate Act
The Corporate Act
A coworker recently presented me with a perfect metaphor for this hell on earth that is corporate America. She said one must be able to be an Academy Award winning actor/actress in order to make it in this horrendous company. I am going to take it a bit further and say that I believe this is probably true for most corporations in this country. I don't have the personal experience to speak for other parts of the world. However, I can certainly attest to the fact that having the ability to act is essential to making it in the company I work at.
Each and every morning I begin preparing my game face during the 40 mile trek in. I literally must psyche myself up every day on the walk in from the car. I put a fake smile on my face and take deep breaths. The count down begins from the moment I wake up but the literal count down begins from the moment I park my car. I constantly look at the clock making a mental note of how many minutes are left before I can leave my imprisonment and be free for the few hours before having to return to my chains. It is such hell and the entire time I am chained to this desk I attempt deep breathing techniques to calm myself. It is extremely challenging and becomes more of a challenge with each passing day.
It is horrible not to feel comfortable being yourself for such a large part of one's existence. Denying oneself is soul crushing and actually debilitating. Some days, today being one, I can barely breathe. I just want to be left alone but I get annoying request after annoying request. The majority of requests I get are tasks that the person asking could just as easily do. Of course some will say that I should be happy that they don't want to do it and can get the company to pay someone else do do them, and being that I am need of the measly paycheck that I do receive I suppose I should be grateful. Although it is extremely difficult to be grateful for being required to do one demeaning task after another and to be treated with such contempt from the unethical, immoral management that exists here. It is a constant battle to keep my spirit in tact for each request is an assault on my spirit and if I did not struggle day after day, month after month, year after year to keep it in tact it would be long dead.
I pray every single day that I will find away to escape this hell and I can only hope that everyone who is suffering the same fate as I will also find a way to escape their chains and degradation. If it takes me the rest of my life I will figure out a way and then hopefully will be able to pass it on to others. That is ALL I can think about the majority of the time.
A coworker recently presented me with a perfect metaphor for this hell on earth that is corporate America. She said one must be able to be an Academy Award winning actor/actress in order to make it in this horrendous company. I am going to take it a bit further and say that I believe this is probably true for most corporations in this country. I don't have the personal experience to speak for other parts of the world. However, I can certainly attest to the fact that having the ability to act is essential to making it in the company I work at.
Each and every morning I begin preparing my game face during the 40 mile trek in. I literally must psyche myself up every day on the walk in from the car. I put a fake smile on my face and take deep breaths. The count down begins from the moment I wake up but the literal count down begins from the moment I park my car. I constantly look at the clock making a mental note of how many minutes are left before I can leave my imprisonment and be free for the few hours before having to return to my chains. It is such hell and the entire time I am chained to this desk I attempt deep breathing techniques to calm myself. It is extremely challenging and becomes more of a challenge with each passing day.
It is horrible not to feel comfortable being yourself for such a large part of one's existence. Denying oneself is soul crushing and actually debilitating. Some days, today being one, I can barely breathe. I just want to be left alone but I get annoying request after annoying request. The majority of requests I get are tasks that the person asking could just as easily do. Of course some will say that I should be happy that they don't want to do it and can get the company to pay someone else do do them, and being that I am need of the measly paycheck that I do receive I suppose I should be grateful. Although it is extremely difficult to be grateful for being required to do one demeaning task after another and to be treated with such contempt from the unethical, immoral management that exists here. It is a constant battle to keep my spirit in tact for each request is an assault on my spirit and if I did not struggle day after day, month after month, year after year to keep it in tact it would be long dead.
I pray every single day that I will find away to escape this hell and I can only hope that everyone who is suffering the same fate as I will also find a way to escape their chains and degradation. If it takes me the rest of my life I will figure out a way and then hopefully will be able to pass it on to others. That is ALL I can think about the majority of the time.
Another Wasted Day
Another Wasted Day
I created a file in my Outlook today called absurd. I felt compelled to do this as a result of the “absurd” requests that I am forced to contend with on a daily basis. Talk about frustrating. I can barely stand it. Just like I can barely stand the stench of shit that I am forced to smell on a daily basis since they moved me into a main thoroughfare next to a bathroom. It is horrendous. However, that is the least of horror of working for this archaic company.
They actually write policies in 2010 that you would think were written in 1950. It’s bizarre.
I created a file in my Outlook today called absurd. I felt compelled to do this as a result of the “absurd” requests that I am forced to contend with on a daily basis. Talk about frustrating. I can barely stand it. Just like I can barely stand the stench of shit that I am forced to smell on a daily basis since they moved me into a main thoroughfare next to a bathroom. It is horrendous. However, that is the least of horror of working for this archaic company.
They actually write policies in 2010 that you would think were written in 1950. It’s bizarre.
Another Day Wished Away
Another Day Wished Away
I am reading a book titled "Escape from Corporate America", written by Pamela Skillings. It is surreal to be reading exactly what I am feeling and have been feeling for the better part of the last decade.
I had an idea that I wasn't only in my misery, however I didn't realize how widespread my feelings are. It provides some comfort knowing that it is NOT me, but at the same time I find it absolutely DEVASTATING that so many people in the world are suffering so deeply. I can speak from experience to the depth of that suffering and the despair that comes as a result of it. It is extremely debilitating. You would think it would be inspiring, but it is just the opposite.
I always feel inspired and motivated to get out of this hell, however at the same time I feel paralyzed and debilitated from the depression and despair that comes along with this type of sacrifice (job).
My father and I have recently been discussing the possibility of me going back to college to obtain a PhD. While this does hold some appeal for me, the idea that my MBA has made zero difference with regard to my "corporate" career that I feel that it would almost be a waste of my time and money. Of course I realize that the MBA has provided me with a significant advantage in the decision to start my own business and now in the running of that business and that if I were to embark on a PhD degree it would be benefit me in a myriad of ways apart from this Godforsaken company and menial position that I hold. I still haven't made up my mind with regard to that yet.
I am attempting to turn my focus onto growing my business and to the possibility of writing a book. I believe either or both of those goals are the only shot I have to freedom. Freedom, oh how I pine for freedom. This imprisonment is stifling. I feel suffocated every day of my life by this company, this job, and the people that work for this atrocity.
The conditions here are not conducive to productivity. There is constant chattering and horrendous music playing and a dozen other distractions that prevent one from the ability to concentrate. It is enough to make one lose their mind. Since I have been moved from a somewhat private, somewhat quiet location to a main thoroughfare I feel on the verge of losing my mind most of the time.
The sweet relief of walking out of here can’t come soon enough. Each and every day I count down the minutes until I will be home again. The sad part is that I even when I get freed from this hellhole I still have almost 40 miles to drive, which takes me anywhere from 45 minutes to over an hour to get to my home. Of course I certainly prefer being in my car to being chained to this desk, however I am still a prisoner on the highway until I reach my home.
It makes me sad to have to wish away yet another day and even sadder that tens of millions of people are doing the same. Life is far too short as it is. We shouldn’t have to wish it away. There must be an alternative to this hamster wheel and I am determined to find it.
I am reading a book titled "Escape from Corporate America", written by Pamela Skillings. It is surreal to be reading exactly what I am feeling and have been feeling for the better part of the last decade.
I had an idea that I wasn't only in my misery, however I didn't realize how widespread my feelings are. It provides some comfort knowing that it is NOT me, but at the same time I find it absolutely DEVASTATING that so many people in the world are suffering so deeply. I can speak from experience to the depth of that suffering and the despair that comes as a result of it. It is extremely debilitating. You would think it would be inspiring, but it is just the opposite.
I always feel inspired and motivated to get out of this hell, however at the same time I feel paralyzed and debilitated from the depression and despair that comes along with this type of sacrifice (job).
My father and I have recently been discussing the possibility of me going back to college to obtain a PhD. While this does hold some appeal for me, the idea that my MBA has made zero difference with regard to my "corporate" career that I feel that it would almost be a waste of my time and money. Of course I realize that the MBA has provided me with a significant advantage in the decision to start my own business and now in the running of that business and that if I were to embark on a PhD degree it would be benefit me in a myriad of ways apart from this Godforsaken company and menial position that I hold. I still haven't made up my mind with regard to that yet.
I am attempting to turn my focus onto growing my business and to the possibility of writing a book. I believe either or both of those goals are the only shot I have to freedom. Freedom, oh how I pine for freedom. This imprisonment is stifling. I feel suffocated every day of my life by this company, this job, and the people that work for this atrocity.
The conditions here are not conducive to productivity. There is constant chattering and horrendous music playing and a dozen other distractions that prevent one from the ability to concentrate. It is enough to make one lose their mind. Since I have been moved from a somewhat private, somewhat quiet location to a main thoroughfare I feel on the verge of losing my mind most of the time.
The sweet relief of walking out of here can’t come soon enough. Each and every day I count down the minutes until I will be home again. The sad part is that I even when I get freed from this hellhole I still have almost 40 miles to drive, which takes me anywhere from 45 minutes to over an hour to get to my home. Of course I certainly prefer being in my car to being chained to this desk, however I am still a prisoner on the highway until I reach my home.
It makes me sad to have to wish away yet another day and even sadder that tens of millions of people are doing the same. Life is far too short as it is. We shouldn’t have to wish it away. There must be an alternative to this hamster wheel and I am determined to find it.
A Typical Day in Modern Day Slavery
A Typical Day in Modern Day Slavery
It is supposed to be 86 degrees here in NY today. As I turned my back on my sweet little pooch this morning as she was wagging her tail willing me to stay with her and shut the door in her face my heart broke and I felt sick being FORCED to leave her when all I wanted to do was spend the entire day with her. And they call this country "Land of the Free"? What a paradox.
As I drove the 40 miles to this Godforsaken company to my menial task job all I could think about was how absurd it was that I am forced to do so in this day in age when I could easily do the menial tasks I am relegated from the comfort of my own home. It is adding insult to injury to be in such a situation and it makes zero sense no matter how you look at it. Economically, environmentally, productively.
The truth is that because I am angry and bitter being forced to do so, whatever the weather, rain, sleet, snow, that I PURPOSELY do as little work as humanly possible day in and day out. Ironically, if I was given the choice of working from home I would be so grateful and appreciative that I would be inclined to produce AS MUCH as possible, not AS LITTLE as possible.
That is why these archaic company policies are not only longer relevant, but they are no longer productive. They serve to discourage people from being productive. I see it each and every day. I live it and with each passing year as technology becomes more advanced the reasoning for being chained to this desk has evaporated. Leaving millions upon millions of angry, bitter employees, producing as little as possible.
You tell me, who do these outmoded policies serve? Absolutely no one. Not the employees and certainly not the companies that insist on retaining them. It only hurts their bottom line.
While I rack my brain trying to figure out a way out of this prison I hold out hope that at some point in the near future laws will be set in place that prevent companies from forcing people who can just as easily work from home trek into another location whether near of far. For any commuting not only harmful to the environment, but also it is harmful to the human spirit. We need to respect our citizens and allow them at least the choice of working from the comfort of their own homes.
In the interim as we are still being forced to contend with the traffic, and the elements, in spite we will spend as much time as possible NOT doing the work we could just as easily do from home.
Tell me.....who does that benefit?
It is supposed to be 86 degrees here in NY today. As I turned my back on my sweet little pooch this morning as she was wagging her tail willing me to stay with her and shut the door in her face my heart broke and I felt sick being FORCED to leave her when all I wanted to do was spend the entire day with her. And they call this country "Land of the Free"? What a paradox.
As I drove the 40 miles to this Godforsaken company to my menial task job all I could think about was how absurd it was that I am forced to do so in this day in age when I could easily do the menial tasks I am relegated from the comfort of my own home. It is adding insult to injury to be in such a situation and it makes zero sense no matter how you look at it. Economically, environmentally, productively.
The truth is that because I am angry and bitter being forced to do so, whatever the weather, rain, sleet, snow, that I PURPOSELY do as little work as humanly possible day in and day out. Ironically, if I was given the choice of working from home I would be so grateful and appreciative that I would be inclined to produce AS MUCH as possible, not AS LITTLE as possible.
That is why these archaic company policies are not only longer relevant, but they are no longer productive. They serve to discourage people from being productive. I see it each and every day. I live it and with each passing year as technology becomes more advanced the reasoning for being chained to this desk has evaporated. Leaving millions upon millions of angry, bitter employees, producing as little as possible.
You tell me, who do these outmoded policies serve? Absolutely no one. Not the employees and certainly not the companies that insist on retaining them. It only hurts their bottom line.
While I rack my brain trying to figure out a way out of this prison I hold out hope that at some point in the near future laws will be set in place that prevent companies from forcing people who can just as easily work from home trek into another location whether near of far. For any commuting not only harmful to the environment, but also it is harmful to the human spirit. We need to respect our citizens and allow them at least the choice of working from the comfort of their own homes.
In the interim as we are still being forced to contend with the traffic, and the elements, in spite we will spend as much time as possible NOT doing the work we could just as easily do from home.
Tell me.....who does that benefit?
Searching, Searching, Searching
Searching, Searching, Searching
It is Monday, the absolute worst day of the week for the masses in the good ole US of A. What an abomination it is for tens of millions of people to start dreading the coming week on the day before their week of imprisonment begins. I try to block it out of my mind on Sunday and attempt to revel in the moments of freedom that I do have on Saturday and Sunday. I am sure most people do this, however I am aware of many, including myself that at times do not succeed. As Sunday comes to an end, the coming week of anguish looms and it looms larger with every passing moment.
As I write this I sit at this gray plastic desk that I am chained to day in and day out, week after week, month after month, year after year. My heart, as well as my body and my face are heavy and I couldn't manage a smile if I wanted too. The feeling of joylessness is so great that it is crushing. Ironically, this business which is heavy with negativity that comes from the immoral and unethical individuals that occupy this space is situated on over 100 acres of pure lush and beautiful foliage. Everyday as I arrive and as I depart my self-imposed prison in corporate hell I make every effort to notice the beautiful nature surrounding me in an attempt to buffer the depression that overcomes me each and every day as I approach my enslavement. Trust me, this is no small feat and most the time I am unsuccessful at doing this.
I spent most of the weekend, as I do almost every weekend, trying to figure out what the key to freedom is for me. I have figured it out and now need to implement it. Once I figure out how to implement a strategy to utilize the key to freedom I promise to share. However, I need to ensure that it works first, otherwise I would be remiss.
Thankfully, I have my four pet children at home. If it were not for them I would experience ZERO moments of joy. At least once I arrive home and am surrounded by what I love most, my pets and the solitude of my home, I relax and feel a sense of contentment. These two comforts are what provide me with the will to live. There are times that I contemplate drastic ways to end the discrimination, the degradation, the exploitation and the disrespect not only that I suffer on a daily basis but that I also witness. It is the thought of my pets and my home that act as a cold glass of water in the face. Keeping me in the game of life, even though I happen to be on the losing end of the game.
I am determined to change this though. I know I will.....sooner than later I hope. Believe you me, it is not only for my benefit that I want to figure a way out, it is for the benefit of all that are suffering the same fate as I.
It is Monday, the absolute worst day of the week for the masses in the good ole US of A. What an abomination it is for tens of millions of people to start dreading the coming week on the day before their week of imprisonment begins. I try to block it out of my mind on Sunday and attempt to revel in the moments of freedom that I do have on Saturday and Sunday. I am sure most people do this, however I am aware of many, including myself that at times do not succeed. As Sunday comes to an end, the coming week of anguish looms and it looms larger with every passing moment.
As I write this I sit at this gray plastic desk that I am chained to day in and day out, week after week, month after month, year after year. My heart, as well as my body and my face are heavy and I couldn't manage a smile if I wanted too. The feeling of joylessness is so great that it is crushing. Ironically, this business which is heavy with negativity that comes from the immoral and unethical individuals that occupy this space is situated on over 100 acres of pure lush and beautiful foliage. Everyday as I arrive and as I depart my self-imposed prison in corporate hell I make every effort to notice the beautiful nature surrounding me in an attempt to buffer the depression that overcomes me each and every day as I approach my enslavement. Trust me, this is no small feat and most the time I am unsuccessful at doing this.
I spent most of the weekend, as I do almost every weekend, trying to figure out what the key to freedom is for me. I have figured it out and now need to implement it. Once I figure out how to implement a strategy to utilize the key to freedom I promise to share. However, I need to ensure that it works first, otherwise I would be remiss.
Thankfully, I have my four pet children at home. If it were not for them I would experience ZERO moments of joy. At least once I arrive home and am surrounded by what I love most, my pets and the solitude of my home, I relax and feel a sense of contentment. These two comforts are what provide me with the will to live. There are times that I contemplate drastic ways to end the discrimination, the degradation, the exploitation and the disrespect not only that I suffer on a daily basis but that I also witness. It is the thought of my pets and my home that act as a cold glass of water in the face. Keeping me in the game of life, even though I happen to be on the losing end of the game.
I am determined to change this though. I know I will.....sooner than later I hope. Believe you me, it is not only for my benefit that I want to figure a way out, it is for the benefit of all that are suffering the same fate as I.
Holding on to Hope in Corporate Hell is NOT Easy
Whoever named Wednesday hump day got it right. Getting over the hump is always a challenge. Each and every day in this hell is a challenge. I must constantly rationalize to myself why I continue to torture myself, day in and day out. It is just AWFUL. Of course the ONLY reason I do it is for the paycheck....which is such a tragedy. I still cannot believe I have ended up in this position. I never would have thought this would have been my life if you would have asked me when I was in college. I had NO idea what the corporate world entailed. I was completely ignorant of the depth of discrimination that still exists in this country. I naively thought that women would be treated equal to men. WOW was I wrong. So very, very wrong. I can't explain the impact this has had on me. On my morale, my self esteem, my individuality. It has been absolutely devastating.
Of course I still believe wholeheartedly that women are equal to men and should be treated as such, but the powerlessness I feel regarding this atrocity still taking place not only in the company I work for but in this country is extremely depressing and actually debilitating at times. Sometimes paralysis sets in and I can barely drag myself out of bed. I search and search for the answer, for the way out, and I have tried many things, but I still have yet to find the way to true FREEDOM. However, I will NOT give up until I do find the answer at which time I will share with as many people as possible.
It breaks my heart to know how many people feel the way I do. So many are living a daily hell of subservience to the rich, elite and power hungry of this country. It as a travesty. As I trek the 80 mile round trip commute each and everyday on the highway wasteland I observe the people around me and can see the same deadness and defeatism in their faces that I feel each and every day. It is so painful.
It is horrible that humans are FORCED to do things they despise just so they may have a bed to sleep in and food to eat. In too many cases neither of these needs are sufficiently met even though people are still suffering just to make ends meet.
Ugh...we need a better system in this country, and in the world. Our system only benefits a select minority of people, mostly white men. This is unacceptable. It is this minority of privileged individuals that continues to benefit from the horrendous economic system of the United States that make the laws to see that this skewed system stays in place so that the rest of us must suffer the degradation and dissatisfaction of doing work that is not only demeaning in many cases but completely ungratifying.
I am hoping that when enough people realize how unfair our economic system is that a revolution will take place and we will change things so that the MAJORITY of people aren't expected to sacrifice and suffer for the benefit of the few.
Of course I still believe wholeheartedly that women are equal to men and should be treated as such, but the powerlessness I feel regarding this atrocity still taking place not only in the company I work for but in this country is extremely depressing and actually debilitating at times. Sometimes paralysis sets in and I can barely drag myself out of bed. I search and search for the answer, for the way out, and I have tried many things, but I still have yet to find the way to true FREEDOM. However, I will NOT give up until I do find the answer at which time I will share with as many people as possible.
It breaks my heart to know how many people feel the way I do. So many are living a daily hell of subservience to the rich, elite and power hungry of this country. It as a travesty. As I trek the 80 mile round trip commute each and everyday on the highway wasteland I observe the people around me and can see the same deadness and defeatism in their faces that I feel each and every day. It is so painful.
It is horrible that humans are FORCED to do things they despise just so they may have a bed to sleep in and food to eat. In too many cases neither of these needs are sufficiently met even though people are still suffering just to make ends meet.
Ugh...we need a better system in this country, and in the world. Our system only benefits a select minority of people, mostly white men. This is unacceptable. It is this minority of privileged individuals that continues to benefit from the horrendous economic system of the United States that make the laws to see that this skewed system stays in place so that the rest of us must suffer the degradation and dissatisfaction of doing work that is not only demeaning in many cases but completely ungratifying.
I am hoping that when enough people realize how unfair our economic system is that a revolution will take place and we will change things so that the MAJORITY of people aren't expected to sacrifice and suffer for the benefit of the few.
God Help Me
Another day in hell. Jesus Christ it is unbearable. I am a middle aged woman who fights tooth and nail on a daily basis to hold on some semblance of my integrity and boy does this place make it difficult. I know if I was a man I wouldn't be pestered day in and day out to do menial tasks that are so beyond what anyone should be doing for anyone else that it is shameful. The most horrendous part is the fact that with regard to responsibilities I am going backwards. After 10 years I am being asked to do personal assistant tasks. At 44 years old with three college degrees including a MBA I find it insulting to be asked to do such nonsense.
Plus it is a gross waste of my time. The time spent at that hell hole is soul deadening and demeaning. It seriously could drive me over the edge. The entire daily grind is unbearable. God help me.
Plus it is a gross waste of my time. The time spent at that hell hole is soul deadening and demeaning. It seriously could drive me over the edge. The entire daily grind is unbearable. God help me.
Hell on Earth
Hell on Earth
That is what working for a private corporation is. I just found at that after 10 years of service, taking on more responsibility each year I will be receiving a 1% raise this year. How absolutely appalling is that? It's enough to make one go mad. There is nothing that I want more than to spit in the faces of those who continue to exploit me year after year after year.
Of course there are those of you that will say that I ask for it by staying at a company who discriminates against and exploits it's female employees. However, you would have to understand where I live and the lack of jobs available. Trust me if there was something even comparable in the area I would be out of here. I commute 80 miles a day as it is to come to this God awful job to collect a paycheck that just pays my bills but doesn't allow for anything more. Unlike the men at this company who make more money than they can spend and get all kinds of perks and bonuses.
I understand why people on the losing end of the economic scale lose their minds. When I was in college achieving one college degree after the other, I never thought I would end up here. I had no doubt whatsoever that I would be extremely successful. I have the intelligence, the education, the discipline. But none of that matters in corporate America. All that matters is your sex, race, and willingness to take abuse.
I am trying hard to get out. I have started my own business and am working toward a future of self sufficiency, but it's taking longer than I would like. Every day here is like losing a little more of myself, my soul, the hopes and dreams I thrived on to get through 7 years of college and many years of neglect and abuse as a child.
Please do not misinterpret my anger, disappointment and resentment as pity on myself. I don't feel pity for myself just bitter disappointment. However, I do feel pity for all of those that have the misfortune of being even further down the economic scale than I for that is an even worse state of affairs.
Everyday when I see the young lady that works here cleaning the toilets and cleaning up after others all day I feel nauseated. I completely empathize with her plight. She hardly speaks English which makes it very easy to discriminate against her. She couldn't stand up for herself in this country if she wanted to with the language barrier. Who is advocating for her. Why should she have to clean the shit of others while the others whose shit she is cleaning don't even have to put their own gas in their cars. It is atrocious.
I pray everyday for the day when I can walk away. I beg God to help make the economic system in this country and around the world more fair for its inhabitants. This Capitalistic Economic System that we have is completely unjust and needs to be ended. A more fair, socialistic system needs to be implemented so the wealth that is available is shared equally amongst everyone.
I hope to God that I will live to see this change happen.
That is what working for a private corporation is. I just found at that after 10 years of service, taking on more responsibility each year I will be receiving a 1% raise this year. How absolutely appalling is that? It's enough to make one go mad. There is nothing that I want more than to spit in the faces of those who continue to exploit me year after year after year.
Of course there are those of you that will say that I ask for it by staying at a company who discriminates against and exploits it's female employees. However, you would have to understand where I live and the lack of jobs available. Trust me if there was something even comparable in the area I would be out of here. I commute 80 miles a day as it is to come to this God awful job to collect a paycheck that just pays my bills but doesn't allow for anything more. Unlike the men at this company who make more money than they can spend and get all kinds of perks and bonuses.
I understand why people on the losing end of the economic scale lose their minds. When I was in college achieving one college degree after the other, I never thought I would end up here. I had no doubt whatsoever that I would be extremely successful. I have the intelligence, the education, the discipline. But none of that matters in corporate America. All that matters is your sex, race, and willingness to take abuse.
I am trying hard to get out. I have started my own business and am working toward a future of self sufficiency, but it's taking longer than I would like. Every day here is like losing a little more of myself, my soul, the hopes and dreams I thrived on to get through 7 years of college and many years of neglect and abuse as a child.
Please do not misinterpret my anger, disappointment and resentment as pity on myself. I don't feel pity for myself just bitter disappointment. However, I do feel pity for all of those that have the misfortune of being even further down the economic scale than I for that is an even worse state of affairs.
Everyday when I see the young lady that works here cleaning the toilets and cleaning up after others all day I feel nauseated. I completely empathize with her plight. She hardly speaks English which makes it very easy to discriminate against her. She couldn't stand up for herself in this country if she wanted to with the language barrier. Who is advocating for her. Why should she have to clean the shit of others while the others whose shit she is cleaning don't even have to put their own gas in their cars. It is atrocious.
I pray everyday for the day when I can walk away. I beg God to help make the economic system in this country and around the world more fair for its inhabitants. This Capitalistic Economic System that we have is completely unjust and needs to be ended. A more fair, socialistic system needs to be implemented so the wealth that is available is shared equally amongst everyone.
I hope to God that I will live to see this change happen.
Another Day in Corporate Prison
Another day lost in corporate prison. A coworker put it well; she said arriving here each day is comparable to arriving on a movie set. One must be an academy award winning actress to face each and every day here because no one can be themselves. This is a plastic company with plastic people. Actually it is worse than that it is full of back stabbing liars. When I drive in each morning I have to psych myself into getting through the day and then each and every hour I must do the same, constantly telling myself only 5 hours left, only 3 and ½ hours left, etc. It is definitely a torturous way to spend each day. I know many if not all others are doing the same thing because one thing that is perfectly clear here is that nobody is genuine. Everyone is very fake. I miss so much being myself. It has been a very long time since I could be myself at work, over a decade. Ugh that is painful. One of these days I will be able to be myself every minute of every day. God I can’t wait for that.
The Unethics of Corporate America
Recently my company pulled a bait and switch on their employees. They put out an ad recruiting for a fictitious position with every intent of hiring a different position. They did this to trick us, so that we would not have the opportunity to show interest or interview for this new position which happens to be a supervisory position. The initial recruiting ad was for an administrator. Not only is that unethical but it is cruel as well. There are several people already working for the company that were qualified for the position. That isn't all either. They are forcing a 10 year veteran employee out of her office into a crowded, noisy area so that they can give the new employee her office. That is over the top. Of course that employee is going to leave, but what a way to be forced out of a job. It's truly immoral and completely unethical. I would love to see this company go down for their illegal and corrupt policies. They are truly hideous. I despise them and working for such corrupt, immoral, unethical people. I am out of here as well.
Another Day in Corporate Hell/Another Day Closer to Freedom
I despise that I feel compelled to vent my anger, frustration & disgust with my "job" in corporate hell at this discriminatory company by blogging about it. Let me tell you...as a woman you are treated appallingly in corporate America. I can speak to this considering I have been working for a private corporation for the past almost 10 years.
It is a disgrace how women are treated. Regardless of their education and qualifications. I can literally run circles around the majority of men at this company intelligence wise. However I am treated like a peon, while the "white" men are given promotion after promotion. This company employs less than a handful of non-whites and they are treated just as unfairly as the women. Worse actually. It is truly disgusting.
I am sure you are thinking why am I still working at this God forsaken company. Well, unfortunately there are several reasons for that. I am a single woman that lives in an area where decent paying jobs are few and far between, especially in this economy. I come from a working poor family that suffers from serious substance abuse problems and therefore cannot depend on them for any financial or emotional support. Like most Americans my options are extremely limited with respect to working for a company.
I am in the process of starting my own business. I do believe this is the answer to the daily hell I've been living in the last 10 years. Though it could take several years before I am in the financial position to walk away from this demeaning job once and for all.
It's extremely difficult to suffer the daily disrespect of one's so called "bosses" and so called "colleagues". It makes one understand why some lose it. To watch on a daily basis how unfair some are treated is unbearable.
It is a disgrace how women are treated. Regardless of their education and qualifications. I can literally run circles around the majority of men at this company intelligence wise. However I am treated like a peon, while the "white" men are given promotion after promotion. This company employs less than a handful of non-whites and they are treated just as unfairly as the women. Worse actually. It is truly disgusting.
I am sure you are thinking why am I still working at this God forsaken company. Well, unfortunately there are several reasons for that. I am a single woman that lives in an area where decent paying jobs are few and far between, especially in this economy. I come from a working poor family that suffers from serious substance abuse problems and therefore cannot depend on them for any financial or emotional support. Like most Americans my options are extremely limited with respect to working for a company.
I am in the process of starting my own business. I do believe this is the answer to the daily hell I've been living in the last 10 years. Though it could take several years before I am in the financial position to walk away from this demeaning job once and for all.
It's extremely difficult to suffer the daily disrespect of one's so called "bosses" and so called "colleagues". It makes one understand why some lose it. To watch on a daily basis how unfair some are treated is unbearable.
Hell on Earth
Yes...this is what my life has regressed to as a corporate slave..HELL ON EARTH. It has been 9 years and 4 months since I made the fateful decision to take a corporate job over my then job as a bartender & I have been MISERABLE ever since. Even though I am working very diligently everyday to get out of this hell I still find this devastatingly disappointing & SOUL SUCKING. This HORRIBLE life in corporate America is sucking the life out of me. It's so depressing.
Right now I have an upset stomach and feel very stressed. The idiots that I am supposed to support have requested I do something that I do not want to do. This of course is a daily occurence and a fine balancing act. I have been somewhat successful at weeding out tasks that I despise, but am still stuck with many that at this juncture of my life I should not have to do.
I am middle age with three college degrees including an MBA. However, believe it or not I am still stuck doing administrative work with a title to match. Stunning as it sounds it is apropo in the corporate world. You see I am a woman in a "MAN ORIENTED COMPANY", words directly from the female VP of our Human Resource department.
You might ask, what in God's name am I still doing here. Well, that is a very good question and not an easy one to answer. I shouldn't still be here considering how much I hate it and how deep my disdain for the company and the people is. Unfortunately, there are many not so good reasons, or more aptly, excuses. For that is really what they are.
For one, the first 2 years I was here I was dealing with a 22 year substance abuse problem. I finally got that under control 7 years ago, but other emotional problems, including low self-esteem and fear has played a huge part in my decision to stay on here year after year.
However, 3 years and 2 months ago I decided to get my Real Estate license thinking that by doing so I could enter a field that is less discriminatory women, for the discrimination here is absolutely suffocating, and was hoping that would be the catalyst to freedom from this corporate hell. The first year seemed promising and then WHAM! the economy collapsed, along with my dreams of financial freedom through Real Estate.
Nonetheless, my constant misery drove me to think 24/7 about other options. I know there are ways out of this excruciating hell. I know of many people who aren't subjected to the daily demeaning requests and fake coworkers who would back stab you the second you turn around.
About 8 months ago I was faced with the need for pet care services and it was at this time that bells starting going off in my head. Could I make a living caring for pets? I've been caring for pets my entire life and paying to do so...could I turn that equation around? This thought was very appealing to me, for the main reason that I love and adore pets. I would choose to spend my time with animals anytime over people. So I began researching the pet care industry and opportunities within that industry and just under 2 months ago I purchased a pet care franchise which I intend to open in the next 2 months.
As excited as I am, I am still stuck at this hell hole for the foreseeable future. This is extremely depressing to me. Everyday I deal with assine requests and moronic people. It's enough to push me over the edge. I am so aggravated right this minute that I can barely breath.
I decided to start this blog for several reasons. One, as an outlet for my anger and frustration. The rage I feel at times at the corporate world, this company in particular is unbearable. I also feel a lot of anger toward myself for continuing to do something I detest for as long as I have. It definitely isn't good for my self preservation. Also, I was hoping to connect with others who are either suffering as I or who have suffered but managed to escape this absolute corporate hell/enslavement.
Maybe if we bond together we can help others like myself break free the bondage of corporate life. There is nothing I'd like more than to help rescue and/or forewarn others. Wouldn't it be wonderful if what I am writing this moment would help convince someone from taking a similar path as I. I wish someone had diverted my path 25 years ago. I could have avoided all this misery and suffering. The thought of young people coming out of college or high school getting stuck in a similar position causes me deep grief.
Please...to ALL GRADUATES. DO NOT...I REPEAT...DO NOT take a corporate job. Start your own business. Become an entrepreneur. It is the only way to personal satisfaction and financial independence.
Trust me...I speak from experience.
Right now I have an upset stomach and feel very stressed. The idiots that I am supposed to support have requested I do something that I do not want to do. This of course is a daily occurence and a fine balancing act. I have been somewhat successful at weeding out tasks that I despise, but am still stuck with many that at this juncture of my life I should not have to do.
I am middle age with three college degrees including an MBA. However, believe it or not I am still stuck doing administrative work with a title to match. Stunning as it sounds it is apropo in the corporate world. You see I am a woman in a "MAN ORIENTED COMPANY", words directly from the female VP of our Human Resource department.
You might ask, what in God's name am I still doing here. Well, that is a very good question and not an easy one to answer. I shouldn't still be here considering how much I hate it and how deep my disdain for the company and the people is. Unfortunately, there are many not so good reasons, or more aptly, excuses. For that is really what they are.
For one, the first 2 years I was here I was dealing with a 22 year substance abuse problem. I finally got that under control 7 years ago, but other emotional problems, including low self-esteem and fear has played a huge part in my decision to stay on here year after year.
However, 3 years and 2 months ago I decided to get my Real Estate license thinking that by doing so I could enter a field that is less discriminatory women, for the discrimination here is absolutely suffocating, and was hoping that would be the catalyst to freedom from this corporate hell. The first year seemed promising and then WHAM! the economy collapsed, along with my dreams of financial freedom through Real Estate.
Nonetheless, my constant misery drove me to think 24/7 about other options. I know there are ways out of this excruciating hell. I know of many people who aren't subjected to the daily demeaning requests and fake coworkers who would back stab you the second you turn around.
About 8 months ago I was faced with the need for pet care services and it was at this time that bells starting going off in my head. Could I make a living caring for pets? I've been caring for pets my entire life and paying to do so...could I turn that equation around? This thought was very appealing to me, for the main reason that I love and adore pets. I would choose to spend my time with animals anytime over people. So I began researching the pet care industry and opportunities within that industry and just under 2 months ago I purchased a pet care franchise which I intend to open in the next 2 months.
As excited as I am, I am still stuck at this hell hole for the foreseeable future. This is extremely depressing to me. Everyday I deal with assine requests and moronic people. It's enough to push me over the edge. I am so aggravated right this minute that I can barely breath.
I decided to start this blog for several reasons. One, as an outlet for my anger and frustration. The rage I feel at times at the corporate world, this company in particular is unbearable. I also feel a lot of anger toward myself for continuing to do something I detest for as long as I have. It definitely isn't good for my self preservation. Also, I was hoping to connect with others who are either suffering as I or who have suffered but managed to escape this absolute corporate hell/enslavement.
Maybe if we bond together we can help others like myself break free the bondage of corporate life. There is nothing I'd like more than to help rescue and/or forewarn others. Wouldn't it be wonderful if what I am writing this moment would help convince someone from taking a similar path as I. I wish someone had diverted my path 25 years ago. I could have avoided all this misery and suffering. The thought of young people coming out of college or high school getting stuck in a similar position causes me deep grief.
Please...to ALL GRADUATES. DO NOT...I REPEAT...DO NOT take a corporate job. Start your own business. Become an entrepreneur. It is the only way to personal satisfaction and financial independence.
Trust me...I speak from experience.
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