Another Day Wished Away

Another Day Wished Away

I am reading a book titled "Escape from Corporate America", written by Pamela Skillings. It is surreal to be reading exactly what I am feeling and have been feeling for the better part of the last decade.

I had an idea that I wasn't only in my misery, however I didn't realize how widespread my feelings are. It provides some comfort knowing that it is NOT me, but at the same time I find it absolutely DEVASTATING that so many people in the world are suffering so deeply. I can speak from experience to the depth of that suffering and the despair that comes as a result of it. It is extremely debilitating. You would think it would be inspiring, but it is just the opposite.

I always feel inspired and motivated to get out of this hell, however at the same time I feel paralyzed and debilitated from the depression and despair that comes along with this type of sacrifice (job).

My father and I have recently been discussing the possibility of me going back to college to obtain a PhD. While this does hold some appeal for me, the idea that my MBA has made zero difference with regard to my "corporate" career that I feel that it would almost be a waste of my time and money. Of course I realize that the MBA has provided me with a significant advantage in the decision to start my own business and now in the running of that business and that if I were to embark on a PhD degree it would be benefit me in a myriad of ways apart from this Godforsaken company and menial position that I hold. I still haven't made up my mind with regard to that yet.

I am attempting to turn my focus onto growing my business and to the possibility of writing a book. I believe either or both of those goals are the only shot I have to freedom. Freedom, oh how I pine for freedom. This imprisonment is stifling. I feel suffocated every day of my life by this company, this job, and the people that work for this atrocity.

The conditions here are not conducive to productivity. There is constant chattering and horrendous music playing and a dozen other distractions that prevent one from the ability to concentrate. It is enough to make one lose their mind. Since I have been moved from a somewhat private, somewhat quiet location to a main thoroughfare I feel on the verge of losing my mind most of the time.

The sweet relief of walking out of here can’t come soon enough. Each and every day I count down the minutes until I will be home again. The sad part is that I even when I get freed from this hellhole I still have almost 40 miles to drive, which takes me anywhere from 45 minutes to over an hour to get to my home. Of course I certainly prefer being in my car to being chained to this desk, however I am still a prisoner on the highway until I reach my home.

It makes me sad to have to wish away yet another day and even sadder that tens of millions of people are doing the same. Life is far too short as it is. We shouldn’t have to wish it away. There must be an alternative to this hamster wheel and I am determined to find it.