Searching, Searching, Searching

Searching, Searching, Searching


It is Monday, the absolute worst day of the week for the masses in the good ole US of A. What an abomination it is for tens of millions of people to start dreading the coming week on the day before their week of imprisonment begins. I try to block it out of my mind on Sunday and attempt to revel in the moments of freedom that I do have on Saturday and Sunday. I am sure most people do this, however I am aware of many, including myself that at times do not succeed. As Sunday comes to an end, the coming week of anguish looms and it looms larger with every passing moment.

As I write this I sit at this gray plastic desk that I am chained to day in and day out, week after week, month after month, year after year. My heart, as well as my body and my face are heavy and I couldn't manage a smile if I wanted too. The feeling of joylessness is so great that it is crushing. Ironically, this business which is heavy with negativity that comes from the immoral and unethical individuals that occupy this space is situated on over 100 acres of pure lush and beautiful foliage. Everyday as I arrive and as I depart my self-imposed prison in corporate hell I make every effort to notice the beautiful nature surrounding me in an attempt to buffer the depression that overcomes me each and every day as I approach my enslavement. Trust me, this is no small feat and most the time I am unsuccessful at doing this.

I spent most of the weekend, as I do almost every weekend, trying to figure out what the key to freedom is for me. I have figured it out and now need to implement it. Once I figure out how to implement a strategy to utilize the key to freedom I promise to share. However, I need to ensure that it works first, otherwise I would be remiss.

Thankfully, I have my four pet children at home. If it were not for them I would experience ZERO moments of joy. At least once I arrive home and am surrounded by what I love most, my pets and the solitude of my home, I relax and feel a sense of contentment. These two comforts are what provide me with the will to live. There are times that I contemplate drastic ways to end the discrimination, the degradation, the exploitation and the disrespect not only that I suffer on a daily basis but that I also witness. It is the thought of my pets and my home that act as a cold glass of water in the face. Keeping me in the game of life, even though I happen to be on the losing end of the game.

I am determined to change this though. I know I will.....sooner than later I hope. Believe you me, it is not only for my benefit that I want to figure a way out, it is for the benefit of all that are suffering the same fate as I.