The Corporate Act
A coworker recently presented me with a perfect metaphor for this hell on earth that is corporate America. She said one must be able to be an Academy Award winning actor/actress in order to make it in this horrendous company. I am going to take it a bit further and say that I believe this is probably true for most corporations in this country. I don't have the personal experience to speak for other parts of the world. However, I can certainly attest to the fact that having the ability to act is essential to making it in the company I work at.
Each and every morning I begin preparing my game face during the 40 mile trek in. I literally must psyche myself up every day on the walk in from the car. I put a fake smile on my face and take deep breaths. The count down begins from the moment I wake up but the literal count down begins from the moment I park my car. I constantly look at the clock making a mental note of how many minutes are left before I can leave my imprisonment and be free for the few hours before having to return to my chains. It is such hell and the entire time I am chained to this desk I attempt deep breathing techniques to calm myself. It is extremely challenging and becomes more of a challenge with each passing day.
It is horrible not to feel comfortable being yourself for such a large part of one's existence. Denying oneself is soul crushing and actually debilitating. Some days, today being one, I can barely breathe. I just want to be left alone but I get annoying request after annoying request. The majority of requests I get are tasks that the person asking could just as easily do. Of course some will say that I should be happy that they don't want to do it and can get the company to pay someone else do do them, and being that I am need of the measly paycheck that I do receive I suppose I should be grateful. Although it is extremely difficult to be grateful for being required to do one demeaning task after another and to be treated with such contempt from the unethical, immoral management that exists here. It is a constant battle to keep my spirit in tact for each request is an assault on my spirit and if I did not struggle day after day, month after month, year after year to keep it in tact it would be long dead.
I pray every single day that I will find away to escape this hell and I can only hope that everyone who is suffering the same fate as I will also find a way to escape their chains and degradation. If it takes me the rest of my life I will figure out a way and then hopefully will be able to pass it on to others. That is ALL I can think about the majority of the time.
Another Wasted Day
Another Wasted Day
I created a file in my Outlook today called absurd. I felt compelled to do this as a result of the “absurd” requests that I am forced to contend with on a daily basis. Talk about frustrating. I can barely stand it. Just like I can barely stand the stench of shit that I am forced to smell on a daily basis since they moved me into a main thoroughfare next to a bathroom. It is horrendous. However, that is the least of horror of working for this archaic company.
They actually write policies in 2010 that you would think were written in 1950. It’s bizarre.
I created a file in my Outlook today called absurd. I felt compelled to do this as a result of the “absurd” requests that I am forced to contend with on a daily basis. Talk about frustrating. I can barely stand it. Just like I can barely stand the stench of shit that I am forced to smell on a daily basis since they moved me into a main thoroughfare next to a bathroom. It is horrendous. However, that is the least of horror of working for this archaic company.
They actually write policies in 2010 that you would think were written in 1950. It’s bizarre.
Another Day Wished Away
Another Day Wished Away
I am reading a book titled "Escape from Corporate America", written by Pamela Skillings. It is surreal to be reading exactly what I am feeling and have been feeling for the better part of the last decade.
I had an idea that I wasn't only in my misery, however I didn't realize how widespread my feelings are. It provides some comfort knowing that it is NOT me, but at the same time I find it absolutely DEVASTATING that so many people in the world are suffering so deeply. I can speak from experience to the depth of that suffering and the despair that comes as a result of it. It is extremely debilitating. You would think it would be inspiring, but it is just the opposite.
I always feel inspired and motivated to get out of this hell, however at the same time I feel paralyzed and debilitated from the depression and despair that comes along with this type of sacrifice (job).
My father and I have recently been discussing the possibility of me going back to college to obtain a PhD. While this does hold some appeal for me, the idea that my MBA has made zero difference with regard to my "corporate" career that I feel that it would almost be a waste of my time and money. Of course I realize that the MBA has provided me with a significant advantage in the decision to start my own business and now in the running of that business and that if I were to embark on a PhD degree it would be benefit me in a myriad of ways apart from this Godforsaken company and menial position that I hold. I still haven't made up my mind with regard to that yet.
I am attempting to turn my focus onto growing my business and to the possibility of writing a book. I believe either or both of those goals are the only shot I have to freedom. Freedom, oh how I pine for freedom. This imprisonment is stifling. I feel suffocated every day of my life by this company, this job, and the people that work for this atrocity.
The conditions here are not conducive to productivity. There is constant chattering and horrendous music playing and a dozen other distractions that prevent one from the ability to concentrate. It is enough to make one lose their mind. Since I have been moved from a somewhat private, somewhat quiet location to a main thoroughfare I feel on the verge of losing my mind most of the time.
The sweet relief of walking out of here can’t come soon enough. Each and every day I count down the minutes until I will be home again. The sad part is that I even when I get freed from this hellhole I still have almost 40 miles to drive, which takes me anywhere from 45 minutes to over an hour to get to my home. Of course I certainly prefer being in my car to being chained to this desk, however I am still a prisoner on the highway until I reach my home.
It makes me sad to have to wish away yet another day and even sadder that tens of millions of people are doing the same. Life is far too short as it is. We shouldn’t have to wish it away. There must be an alternative to this hamster wheel and I am determined to find it.
I am reading a book titled "Escape from Corporate America", written by Pamela Skillings. It is surreal to be reading exactly what I am feeling and have been feeling for the better part of the last decade.
I had an idea that I wasn't only in my misery, however I didn't realize how widespread my feelings are. It provides some comfort knowing that it is NOT me, but at the same time I find it absolutely DEVASTATING that so many people in the world are suffering so deeply. I can speak from experience to the depth of that suffering and the despair that comes as a result of it. It is extremely debilitating. You would think it would be inspiring, but it is just the opposite.
I always feel inspired and motivated to get out of this hell, however at the same time I feel paralyzed and debilitated from the depression and despair that comes along with this type of sacrifice (job).
My father and I have recently been discussing the possibility of me going back to college to obtain a PhD. While this does hold some appeal for me, the idea that my MBA has made zero difference with regard to my "corporate" career that I feel that it would almost be a waste of my time and money. Of course I realize that the MBA has provided me with a significant advantage in the decision to start my own business and now in the running of that business and that if I were to embark on a PhD degree it would be benefit me in a myriad of ways apart from this Godforsaken company and menial position that I hold. I still haven't made up my mind with regard to that yet.
I am attempting to turn my focus onto growing my business and to the possibility of writing a book. I believe either or both of those goals are the only shot I have to freedom. Freedom, oh how I pine for freedom. This imprisonment is stifling. I feel suffocated every day of my life by this company, this job, and the people that work for this atrocity.
The conditions here are not conducive to productivity. There is constant chattering and horrendous music playing and a dozen other distractions that prevent one from the ability to concentrate. It is enough to make one lose their mind. Since I have been moved from a somewhat private, somewhat quiet location to a main thoroughfare I feel on the verge of losing my mind most of the time.
The sweet relief of walking out of here can’t come soon enough. Each and every day I count down the minutes until I will be home again. The sad part is that I even when I get freed from this hellhole I still have almost 40 miles to drive, which takes me anywhere from 45 minutes to over an hour to get to my home. Of course I certainly prefer being in my car to being chained to this desk, however I am still a prisoner on the highway until I reach my home.
It makes me sad to have to wish away yet another day and even sadder that tens of millions of people are doing the same. Life is far too short as it is. We shouldn’t have to wish it away. There must be an alternative to this hamster wheel and I am determined to find it.
A Typical Day in Modern Day Slavery
A Typical Day in Modern Day Slavery
It is supposed to be 86 degrees here in NY today. As I turned my back on my sweet little pooch this morning as she was wagging her tail willing me to stay with her and shut the door in her face my heart broke and I felt sick being FORCED to leave her when all I wanted to do was spend the entire day with her. And they call this country "Land of the Free"? What a paradox.
As I drove the 40 miles to this Godforsaken company to my menial task job all I could think about was how absurd it was that I am forced to do so in this day in age when I could easily do the menial tasks I am relegated from the comfort of my own home. It is adding insult to injury to be in such a situation and it makes zero sense no matter how you look at it. Economically, environmentally, productively.
The truth is that because I am angry and bitter being forced to do so, whatever the weather, rain, sleet, snow, that I PURPOSELY do as little work as humanly possible day in and day out. Ironically, if I was given the choice of working from home I would be so grateful and appreciative that I would be inclined to produce AS MUCH as possible, not AS LITTLE as possible.
That is why these archaic company policies are not only longer relevant, but they are no longer productive. They serve to discourage people from being productive. I see it each and every day. I live it and with each passing year as technology becomes more advanced the reasoning for being chained to this desk has evaporated. Leaving millions upon millions of angry, bitter employees, producing as little as possible.
You tell me, who do these outmoded policies serve? Absolutely no one. Not the employees and certainly not the companies that insist on retaining them. It only hurts their bottom line.
While I rack my brain trying to figure out a way out of this prison I hold out hope that at some point in the near future laws will be set in place that prevent companies from forcing people who can just as easily work from home trek into another location whether near of far. For any commuting not only harmful to the environment, but also it is harmful to the human spirit. We need to respect our citizens and allow them at least the choice of working from the comfort of their own homes.
In the interim as we are still being forced to contend with the traffic, and the elements, in spite we will spend as much time as possible NOT doing the work we could just as easily do from home.
Tell me.....who does that benefit?
It is supposed to be 86 degrees here in NY today. As I turned my back on my sweet little pooch this morning as she was wagging her tail willing me to stay with her and shut the door in her face my heart broke and I felt sick being FORCED to leave her when all I wanted to do was spend the entire day with her. And they call this country "Land of the Free"? What a paradox.
As I drove the 40 miles to this Godforsaken company to my menial task job all I could think about was how absurd it was that I am forced to do so in this day in age when I could easily do the menial tasks I am relegated from the comfort of my own home. It is adding insult to injury to be in such a situation and it makes zero sense no matter how you look at it. Economically, environmentally, productively.
The truth is that because I am angry and bitter being forced to do so, whatever the weather, rain, sleet, snow, that I PURPOSELY do as little work as humanly possible day in and day out. Ironically, if I was given the choice of working from home I would be so grateful and appreciative that I would be inclined to produce AS MUCH as possible, not AS LITTLE as possible.
That is why these archaic company policies are not only longer relevant, but they are no longer productive. They serve to discourage people from being productive. I see it each and every day. I live it and with each passing year as technology becomes more advanced the reasoning for being chained to this desk has evaporated. Leaving millions upon millions of angry, bitter employees, producing as little as possible.
You tell me, who do these outmoded policies serve? Absolutely no one. Not the employees and certainly not the companies that insist on retaining them. It only hurts their bottom line.
While I rack my brain trying to figure out a way out of this prison I hold out hope that at some point in the near future laws will be set in place that prevent companies from forcing people who can just as easily work from home trek into another location whether near of far. For any commuting not only harmful to the environment, but also it is harmful to the human spirit. We need to respect our citizens and allow them at least the choice of working from the comfort of their own homes.
In the interim as we are still being forced to contend with the traffic, and the elements, in spite we will spend as much time as possible NOT doing the work we could just as easily do from home.
Tell me.....who does that benefit?
Searching, Searching, Searching
Searching, Searching, Searching
It is Monday, the absolute worst day of the week for the masses in the good ole US of A. What an abomination it is for tens of millions of people to start dreading the coming week on the day before their week of imprisonment begins. I try to block it out of my mind on Sunday and attempt to revel in the moments of freedom that I do have on Saturday and Sunday. I am sure most people do this, however I am aware of many, including myself that at times do not succeed. As Sunday comes to an end, the coming week of anguish looms and it looms larger with every passing moment.
As I write this I sit at this gray plastic desk that I am chained to day in and day out, week after week, month after month, year after year. My heart, as well as my body and my face are heavy and I couldn't manage a smile if I wanted too. The feeling of joylessness is so great that it is crushing. Ironically, this business which is heavy with negativity that comes from the immoral and unethical individuals that occupy this space is situated on over 100 acres of pure lush and beautiful foliage. Everyday as I arrive and as I depart my self-imposed prison in corporate hell I make every effort to notice the beautiful nature surrounding me in an attempt to buffer the depression that overcomes me each and every day as I approach my enslavement. Trust me, this is no small feat and most the time I am unsuccessful at doing this.
I spent most of the weekend, as I do almost every weekend, trying to figure out what the key to freedom is for me. I have figured it out and now need to implement it. Once I figure out how to implement a strategy to utilize the key to freedom I promise to share. However, I need to ensure that it works first, otherwise I would be remiss.
Thankfully, I have my four pet children at home. If it were not for them I would experience ZERO moments of joy. At least once I arrive home and am surrounded by what I love most, my pets and the solitude of my home, I relax and feel a sense of contentment. These two comforts are what provide me with the will to live. There are times that I contemplate drastic ways to end the discrimination, the degradation, the exploitation and the disrespect not only that I suffer on a daily basis but that I also witness. It is the thought of my pets and my home that act as a cold glass of water in the face. Keeping me in the game of life, even though I happen to be on the losing end of the game.
I am determined to change this though. I know I will.....sooner than later I hope. Believe you me, it is not only for my benefit that I want to figure a way out, it is for the benefit of all that are suffering the same fate as I.
It is Monday, the absolute worst day of the week for the masses in the good ole US of A. What an abomination it is for tens of millions of people to start dreading the coming week on the day before their week of imprisonment begins. I try to block it out of my mind on Sunday and attempt to revel in the moments of freedom that I do have on Saturday and Sunday. I am sure most people do this, however I am aware of many, including myself that at times do not succeed. As Sunday comes to an end, the coming week of anguish looms and it looms larger with every passing moment.
As I write this I sit at this gray plastic desk that I am chained to day in and day out, week after week, month after month, year after year. My heart, as well as my body and my face are heavy and I couldn't manage a smile if I wanted too. The feeling of joylessness is so great that it is crushing. Ironically, this business which is heavy with negativity that comes from the immoral and unethical individuals that occupy this space is situated on over 100 acres of pure lush and beautiful foliage. Everyday as I arrive and as I depart my self-imposed prison in corporate hell I make every effort to notice the beautiful nature surrounding me in an attempt to buffer the depression that overcomes me each and every day as I approach my enslavement. Trust me, this is no small feat and most the time I am unsuccessful at doing this.
I spent most of the weekend, as I do almost every weekend, trying to figure out what the key to freedom is for me. I have figured it out and now need to implement it. Once I figure out how to implement a strategy to utilize the key to freedom I promise to share. However, I need to ensure that it works first, otherwise I would be remiss.
Thankfully, I have my four pet children at home. If it were not for them I would experience ZERO moments of joy. At least once I arrive home and am surrounded by what I love most, my pets and the solitude of my home, I relax and feel a sense of contentment. These two comforts are what provide me with the will to live. There are times that I contemplate drastic ways to end the discrimination, the degradation, the exploitation and the disrespect not only that I suffer on a daily basis but that I also witness. It is the thought of my pets and my home that act as a cold glass of water in the face. Keeping me in the game of life, even though I happen to be on the losing end of the game.
I am determined to change this though. I know I will.....sooner than later I hope. Believe you me, it is not only for my benefit that I want to figure a way out, it is for the benefit of all that are suffering the same fate as I.
Holding on to Hope in Corporate Hell is NOT Easy
Whoever named Wednesday hump day got it right. Getting over the hump is always a challenge. Each and every day in this hell is a challenge. I must constantly rationalize to myself why I continue to torture myself, day in and day out. It is just AWFUL. Of course the ONLY reason I do it is for the paycheck....which is such a tragedy. I still cannot believe I have ended up in this position. I never would have thought this would have been my life if you would have asked me when I was in college. I had NO idea what the corporate world entailed. I was completely ignorant of the depth of discrimination that still exists in this country. I naively thought that women would be treated equal to men. WOW was I wrong. So very, very wrong. I can't explain the impact this has had on me. On my morale, my self esteem, my individuality. It has been absolutely devastating.
Of course I still believe wholeheartedly that women are equal to men and should be treated as such, but the powerlessness I feel regarding this atrocity still taking place not only in the company I work for but in this country is extremely depressing and actually debilitating at times. Sometimes paralysis sets in and I can barely drag myself out of bed. I search and search for the answer, for the way out, and I have tried many things, but I still have yet to find the way to true FREEDOM. However, I will NOT give up until I do find the answer at which time I will share with as many people as possible.
It breaks my heart to know how many people feel the way I do. So many are living a daily hell of subservience to the rich, elite and power hungry of this country. It as a travesty. As I trek the 80 mile round trip commute each and everyday on the highway wasteland I observe the people around me and can see the same deadness and defeatism in their faces that I feel each and every day. It is so painful.
It is horrible that humans are FORCED to do things they despise just so they may have a bed to sleep in and food to eat. In too many cases neither of these needs are sufficiently met even though people are still suffering just to make ends meet.
Ugh...we need a better system in this country, and in the world. Our system only benefits a select minority of people, mostly white men. This is unacceptable. It is this minority of privileged individuals that continues to benefit from the horrendous economic system of the United States that make the laws to see that this skewed system stays in place so that the rest of us must suffer the degradation and dissatisfaction of doing work that is not only demeaning in many cases but completely ungratifying.
I am hoping that when enough people realize how unfair our economic system is that a revolution will take place and we will change things so that the MAJORITY of people aren't expected to sacrifice and suffer for the benefit of the few.
Of course I still believe wholeheartedly that women are equal to men and should be treated as such, but the powerlessness I feel regarding this atrocity still taking place not only in the company I work for but in this country is extremely depressing and actually debilitating at times. Sometimes paralysis sets in and I can barely drag myself out of bed. I search and search for the answer, for the way out, and I have tried many things, but I still have yet to find the way to true FREEDOM. However, I will NOT give up until I do find the answer at which time I will share with as many people as possible.
It breaks my heart to know how many people feel the way I do. So many are living a daily hell of subservience to the rich, elite and power hungry of this country. It as a travesty. As I trek the 80 mile round trip commute each and everyday on the highway wasteland I observe the people around me and can see the same deadness and defeatism in their faces that I feel each and every day. It is so painful.
It is horrible that humans are FORCED to do things they despise just so they may have a bed to sleep in and food to eat. In too many cases neither of these needs are sufficiently met even though people are still suffering just to make ends meet.
Ugh...we need a better system in this country, and in the world. Our system only benefits a select minority of people, mostly white men. This is unacceptable. It is this minority of privileged individuals that continues to benefit from the horrendous economic system of the United States that make the laws to see that this skewed system stays in place so that the rest of us must suffer the degradation and dissatisfaction of doing work that is not only demeaning in many cases but completely ungratifying.
I am hoping that when enough people realize how unfair our economic system is that a revolution will take place and we will change things so that the MAJORITY of people aren't expected to sacrifice and suffer for the benefit of the few.
God Help Me
Another day in hell. Jesus Christ it is unbearable. I am a middle aged woman who fights tooth and nail on a daily basis to hold on some semblance of my integrity and boy does this place make it difficult. I know if I was a man I wouldn't be pestered day in and day out to do menial tasks that are so beyond what anyone should be doing for anyone else that it is shameful. The most horrendous part is the fact that with regard to responsibilities I am going backwards. After 10 years I am being asked to do personal assistant tasks. At 44 years old with three college degrees including a MBA I find it insulting to be asked to do such nonsense.
Plus it is a gross waste of my time. The time spent at that hell hole is soul deadening and demeaning. It seriously could drive me over the edge. The entire daily grind is unbearable. God help me.
Plus it is a gross waste of my time. The time spent at that hell hole is soul deadening and demeaning. It seriously could drive me over the edge. The entire daily grind is unbearable. God help me.
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