How Much Longer Until Freedom

How Much Longer Until Freedom

This is the thought that consumes me 24/7. It's the driving force of my existence and the main goal of my life. Each and every day as I go through the same grind I see those that are free. As I am rushing to get ready in the morning, and rushing my dog to go to the bathroom while wearing my uncomfortable work clothes, I see so many who are walking their dogs leisurely through the community where I live, or enjoying a peaceful, leisurely breakfast on their balcony, some are enjoying their coffee while reading a book still in their pajamas and the feeling of envy that goes through me is enough to suffocate me. It hurts so much and is so very frustrating. My entire being aches to be free. It's all I can think about. Of course I do manage to function each day, although not easy. It takes so much energy to do anything. All I want to do is hang with my pets at home and read and write and relax and exercise and eat healthy and enjoy each and every moment of my life.

I don't want to sit and stare at a computer screen all day every day day in and day out while surrounded by unethical, dishonest, self absorbed people. It is truly torturous. 10 years and 7 months I have been here. It's hard to believe I have been unhappy and dissatisfied for such a long time. It depresses me when I think how much of my life is being wasted here. Luckily I have been able to spend large chunks of time on other ventures, but the bottom line is I am not free and until I am I won't be truly content.